Oh, pork is a four-letter word,
The worst word a pig ever heard.
They say that it's sweet
And lovely to eat
Ham, bacon and pickled pigs' feet!

Oh, pork is a four-letter word,
The sound of it's really absurd.
I don't know who thought it
Was good or who bought it
Not knowing to pigs it referred.

Oh, skiddley pop the dooey bop,
Eat French fries or veggie hot dogs
Try scallops and clams
Poached eggs, eels or yams
But please, I beg, please don't eat hogs.

I was in denial
My life was a trial
That black day I heard of headcheese.
It gave me a shock
To learn of pork hocks
And made me quite weak at the knees!

Oh, Maggie come get me
Hug me and pet me
And make those bad dreams go away
Remind me I'm safe here
There's nothing to fear near
And all in ONE PIECE I shall stay.

Oh, skiddley pop the dooey bop,
Eat chicken, try pasta or figs;
Beef is much cheaper and
Fish is a keeper
But please, my friends, please don't eat pigs!

© Margaret Timms 2002