Hogwash

Hogwash

Rub-a-dub-dub there's a pig in the tub
And I wish there was room for me
She's so fat that her hip hangs over the lip
And warm water has caused her to wee

I don't want to sprinkle on top of her tinkle
The grapes that I've saved for this job
Yet I fear if I fail it, that sow will hightail it
And forever she'll look like a slob

Here comes the dilemma, my sweet little Emma
Won't get out without her grape treat
Yet I still need to keep them don't want her to eat them
I'll have to resort to deceit

So I turn quickly round put the dish on the ground
And Emma steps lightly out
Grab the washtub and spill it then quickly refill it
While I yank the dish back with a shout

Now no one would sneer or act like it's queer
If I told them I'm making penoche
Yet they all flip their wig that I'm scrubbing a pig
They think it's a bunch of hogwash!